SHITBAGxDETON8R's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Airport Adventure.]

Been meaning to write a breakdown of this for a couple days now, just need to find the time.

Pacing is still all over the place. I think the first two scenes are a bit of an issue because they take up almost 2 minutes of run time and fundamentally reach the same punchline; "I'm bored, and I want to do something else." The first whole minute is the most important part of the video as that's where you need to hook people into watching the rest; but there's painfully little going on. There's not much animation, no real jokes or set-up for a punchline later, and the harsh red background is difficult to look at. You could easily skip the whole first minute and merge anything from that with the 2nd scene in the boat, which is much better - there's not much action, but you have a few comments about fireworks in the water, a visual gag with the dead fish showing the consequences of his actions, and the explosion at the end.

The actual airport bits had a bit more going on, like a bit more animation with moving arms and the like, as well as the background gags with the train ride. I think you should probably avoid forcing people to pause the video to catch them, though! I think the highlights were probably the shuttle ride concept, the depressed janitor, and low quality news. I think the main problem is the lack of snappiness; there's not that many jokes, and they get stretched a bit thin. You could probably fit the same number of gags into half the run-time fairly comfortably, cutting some redundant lines and pauses. If you look at any slapstick cartoon they will fit a lot of stuff into 7 minutes, and while they will use dramatic pauses they will often be exaggerated with some kind of animation or highly lively voice acting. In lieu of expressive characters on high budgets it's very important to get the timing just right. Narrating the transition cards and making them not too much text on the screen at once would also help. They can be as simple as saying "5 minutes later!" with a plain voice, to a more lively one mentioning something like "One lengthy wild boar ride later!" or something, which I think would suit the theme and characters better than any actual units of time.

Overall, it's in the ballpark, but it needs better timing. Even absurdist comedy relies on a complex web of the timing, delivery, and visual presentation. Think of comedic actors who emphasize certain things with wild expressions, or sudden changes in the pitch of their voice. Stuff like that, you know? The voices you're doing can be funny, they just need a better balance against everything else that's going on I think.

EverythingByElias responds:

Thx for the fair critique! :D

[Final Destination'd]

Love it. Bloody whirligigs are a terror!

BigCronch responds:

the unstoppable horrors. thank you!

[Everyday's a Nice Day: Nosebleeds Suck.]

A very reasonable statement.

I think it could easily be enhanced with a couple visual gags, since there's a phone call you could do a cutaway to Bill with Tofu in the background causing some kind of trouble at the hospital, or some kind of implication of what Tofu did like a chalk outline of someone on the ground and police barriers. John could also be a little more active, slight movements of the phone, maybe the big reveal at the end could show his favorite chair all messed up... You know, just a smidge more. The bobbing of the tide of blood as further drops fell down was good, though.

Otherwise, it's alright. John's voice was pretty good, very appropriate for the situation. I wasn't going to watch the Minecraft movie anyway, so I suppose I watched this instead!

EverythingByElias responds:

Reasonable points dude! With this one I purposely focused more on John though what you say makes sense. As for adding more and more movement, again what you say is perfectly valid and constructive, a fair point! Thanks for the review and for not seeing the Minecraft movie! :D

[The Maintenance Guy]

It was pretty good, a lot of the drawings were a bit too basic but I liked the mixed media animation with the maintenance guy. A couple tweaks here and there (I feel like the buttgremlin gag could probably have more of a punchline for example) and a little bit of polish on the backgrounds and other characters would go a long way.

[Police Cats: Stinkypinky]

Going by the naming conventions, this is clearly Stinkypinky.

The graphics are a bit rudimentary, but the animation is okay - up until the vocal segment, when it just was a slideshow. Not terrible but a bit too unfinished.

[Some lore stuff for a new oc]

Well, I don't know much about flipaclip, but I can give you some general pointers;

1: The pacing is terrible. Things happen extremely quickly, and it's difficult to read the text on the screen in the split second it is there without pausing.

2: From the first point, if you are trying to convey information about your OC, having blocks of text is probably better in a format outside of video, like an art portal submission or blog post. Slow the pacing down, and add some kind of audio. Either tell a story via narration, or animate a story or pieces of it.

3: Most of your drawings are pretty basic. Right now the entire video is JUST the visuals, and several frames are just scribbles. Some are harsh white-on-black frames, others fairly dark lines on a harsh white background, and some are very dark with dark blue lines that aren't as clear or easy to pick out. There's a few frames of animation with the top hat-character (?) swaying back and forth, then it stops and opens a singular red eye on the center of the top area. That's not too bad, and has some potential to be visually striking, but then the arms (?) seem to change in shape from claws, to paddles, to hoops, to text, to a low-visibility frame where they're just noodles. You want some kind of consistency in your drawings first, then you can start worrying about smoothness.

You don't need to improve all of these at once, but if you want to show people something and receive a positive reaction you need to start from the top of the list and work your way down. Right now it's just 6 seconds of garbled pictures, if I look at the frames individually I can make out an attempt at a story, but it's missing a lot of chunks. Short and snappy can be fine for action or comedy, but if you want to share some kind of lore or deeper meaning you need to be a lot more deliberate.

I'm not trying to shit on a newbie, but if you genuinely want feedback I can give it. Animation is very difficult. I don't know what other options you have for software or tools.

0v0bfr responds:

Thank you for the info! I'll try making other animations in the future doing one by one!

[CHERNOBÃO SÔNICOOOOOO]

The premise and presentation wasn't so bad, but the loud crackling noises as part of the voice recordings made it pretty unwatchable. You desperately need to fix that if your intent is to entertain, not torment.

Nicolyarts responds:

sorry, but this video was inspired by another video from tiktok

[Pat and Ron's Bats and Scones]

These are still underrated IMO. There's a good flow to them, your characters are funny and dynamic, and the punchlines are often at the very least uncommon, or pretty original.

"That's what you get for having a wall!"

BigCronch responds:

thanks man! will keep at it anyway cause I do still enjoy it, I think I just need to make some at 1920x1080 and it'll help a bit more, cause I know on platforms like here and Youtube people would much rather prefer it.

[Worried about Kanye]

Alright, these are a bit odd and clearly not targeted at me with all the pop culture references, but the line about reading the "white man's bible" got me, that was funny. I think the more bite-sized runtime helps all the references (guest characters?) not overstay their welcome.

[Porosty - Pies HD]

I have no idea what's going on, but it was great.